Emboldened By Annexation of Crimea, Putin Sets His Sights On Winterfell

PutinJoffreyFact and Fiction Collide For  Megalomaniac

Moscow – Believing that anyone who questions his right to rule should be punished, and having Googled “what should an illegitimate king do when outsiders question his right to conquer other people’s lands,” Vladimir Putin has declared that Russia will next attack Winterfell.

When warned by brave advisers that Winterfell is a fictional place that cannot be invaded, Putin reportedly responded with “That’s what the Ukrainians said about Russian Crimea”

Asked why he is so confident that an invasion of the North is doable, the autocrat told us “Napoleon and Hitler proved that nobody can beat a Russian army in cold and inhospitable terrain. When I posted on internet chat rooms asking for reasons not to invade Winterfell, the main answer people gave was ‘because winter is coming'”

 

 

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