– Bank Bailouts Explained Transcript

Did you hear about the bailouts?

no. what about the bailouts?

the governments have announced the taxpayers will make money on the bailouts.

should I believe them?

Depends. Do you believe the politicians are honest?

no.

do you believe the bankers are fair?

no.

do you believe that the 2 plus 2 equals pink?

no. I definitely do not believe that the 2 plus 2 equals pink.

than you should not believe we’ll make money on the bailouts.

but how could the governments claim such a thing?

by conveniently ignoring the backdoor bailouts.

what is a backdoor bailout?

a backdoor bailout is like any other bailout, except the governments lie and say it wasn’t a bailout.

but what was the main bailout?

the main bailout was the tar-pee program.

what is the tar-pee program?

a program where the governments used the taxpayer dollars to buy the shares in the banks.

why did they buy the shares?

because they said the banks were too big to fail, and if they failed, there would be too many foreclosures and no new mortgages.

so after the governments bought the shares, did the banks stop the foreclosures?

No.

did they give the mortgages?

no.

so what did they do with the money?

they used it to buy other banks.

but werent they already too big to fail?

yes.

so now they are too biggerer to fail?

exactly.

which banks are too biggerer to fail?

the biggest are the JP Morgan Chase Bear Sterns Washington Mutual, and the Bank of America Countrywide Merill Lynch.

what about the goldman sachs. did they buy another bank?

no.

why not?

because when you already own the US government, you don’t need to buy any more banks.

after the other banks became too biggerer to fail, did they stop the foreclosures?

no

did they give the mortgages?

no

did they do anything at all?

one executive at the bank of america countrywide merill lynch paid the bill on his 70 thousand dollar desk.

my god. is this a corrupt thirld world country?

definitely not.

how could you be so sure?

because nobody in a third world country would be stupid enough to spend 70 thousand dollars on a desk.

is this executive still at the bank of america countrywide merill lynch?

no. he is now the CEO of the C I T.

what is the C I T ?

the C I T is a failed lending company.

how could a failed company hire a new CEO?

because they also got billions in the bailouts.

do these people have no shame?

when you constantly get the bailouts, you don’t care about the shame.

what was the main backdoor bailout?

the biggest was the bailout of the AIGs.

why did they bailout the AIGs?

because the AIGs owed billions to the banks, and if they went under the banks would lose too much money.

and after the bailout, how much did the banks lose?

nothing

how is that possible?

because the governments decided the taxpayers should pay for all the banks mistakes

which bank did the AIGs owe the most money to?

the goldman sachs.

so despite its poor decision to do too much business with a failed company, the goldman sachs did not lose a penny?

actually, the goldman sachs probably profited from the failiure of the AIGs.

how could someone profit from the downfall of one of their biggest business partners?

because while the goldman sachs was working with the AIGs, it was also making a secret bet that they would go under.

my god, is this some kind of science fiction movie, like the star wars?

no.

how do you know?

because the evil empire in the star wars was fiction. but the evil empire that is the goldman sachs is very real.

but weren’t the American people outraged by this manipulation of a bailout?

at the time, the American people did not know about the structure of this bailout.

how come?

because the governments ordered the AIGs to lie to the people.

who in the governments gave such an order?

The New York Fed.

and who at the time was in charge of the New York Fed?

the timothy geethner.

and who put the timothy geethner in charge?

the timothy geethner was appointed by the president bush.

what about the president obama, and the change. Did the president obama bring the change to the timothy geethner?

yes

so he fired him?

no. he promoted him to treasury secretary.

that does not sound like the change we can believe in.

definitely not.

were there any other bailouts?

yes. during the financial crisis, the ben bernank loaned trillons of dollars to companies like the barclays.

what is the barclays?

the barclays is a european bank.

why would the ben bernank lend money to a European bank?

so they could buy the lehman after it went bankrupt.

and why did the lehman go bankrupt?

because the ben bernank refused to lend them any money.

but why would the fed refuse to lend the american peoples money to an american bank, but then lend the money to a european bank?

I dont know, maybe because the europeans have funny accents.

but me and you also have funny accents. will the ben bernanke lend us money?

no

why not?

because we are not bankers, and to the ben bernank if you are not a banker, then you simply don’t exist.

so after all these bailouts, did the banks stop the foreclosures?

no.

did they give the mortgages?

no.

did they do anything at all?

they paid themselves big bonuses.

that does not sound like a prudent use of the american peoples money.

when you constantly get the bailouts, you don’t care about the prudence.

are any of the bailouts going on today?

yes. the ben bernanke keeps the short term interest rates at zero.

how is that a bailout?

low rates mean the banks have to pay the american people very little interest in their savings accounts.

that is a very nice gift from the american people to the banks.

yes.

and to show their gratitute, did the banks stop the foreclosures?

no

did they give the mortgages?

no.

did they do anything at all?

yes. they increased the monthly fees on all bank accounts.

that does not sound like the gratitude. that sounds like the screwing of the american people.

yes.

but isn’t it normally a bad idea to screw your own customers?

when you constantly get the bailouts, you don’t care about your customers.

but after all these different bailouts, what did the banks do with the money?

they invested a lot of it in the foreign countries.

why did they invest in the foreign countries?

because they said in America the taxes are too high.

why are the taxes so high?

because the governments is broke.

and why is the governments broke?

because they spent all their money on the bailouts.

is this all some kind of a sick joke?

yes, in a way, it is.

what kind of joke is it?

well, do you work for a bank?

no.

did you get any of the bailouts?

no.

do you pay income taxes?

yes.

than the joke is on you.

 
 

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